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Is the Non-Dysfunctional Family a Myth? Night Stories

I’m curious: what does a non-dysfunctional family look like? My dad was an alcoholic. He died from this damned sickness. His parents did, too. Both of them. My mom has the same addiction, plus a whole bunch of other issues. Wait—we’ll get to me and my own quirks later. But I grew up in a broken home that felt like hell. My cousins’ dad drank, too. My classmates either didn’t have fathers, or their dads had the same “talent” as mine, or they were abusers. One boy’s mom left him with a grandmother for the sake of a new husband. Another friend of mine abandoned her daughter with the father to go find a new love. And now, I’m standing guard by the bathroom so my son doesn’t waste water. I heard somewhere that this kind of control is a sign of a dysfunctional family. So, I guess I follow the same pattern now. Not because I’m stingy with the water, though. I’m here because our power grid is being shelled, electricity is hit-or-miss, and we have one 50-liter water heater for everyone. There a...
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Never Have Achieved Any Goal? That’s a BS, and Here's Why

I haven’t been to the gym for almost two months. First, my kid was sick, then I had dental implants, then my child got ill again, and then I got pneumonia. In short, I finally made it there yesterday.

I wouldn’t call myself a fitness enthusiast. I’m overweight and have a cortisol belly. But I love the gym. Simply because I love the feeling of being there. I adore feeling good about myself when I’ve done a planned set. I enjoy being proud of myself when I complete a scheduled routine and even push myself a little further. And while I was on the treadmill at the end of my workout, the transformation of my own thoughts led me to a realization about my entire life.

I’m almost always too lazy to do the final cardio. But I had planned at least half an hour, so I set the speed to a comfortable 3.4 mph. After 10 minutes, I wondered if I could walk 1.8 miles in those 30 minutes if I increased the speed to my maximum walking pace. And I started increasing it, trying to calculate. Then I decided it wasn’t just curiosity, but I WANTED to walk 1.8 miles in half an hour. So I had to make up for time by increasing speed, but I had to walk, not run. When the timer showed 25 minutes and 1.6 miles, it hit me like a ton of bricks: isn’t it setting goals and achieving them?

Here I am, having planned a workout and completed it. And there I was, doing cardio I don’t even like. I didn’t just walk those 30 minutes; I set a short-term goal for myself: 1.8 miles in 30 minutes, and I did everything possible to achieve it.

So tell me, good people, why do I think I’m incapable of setting and achieving goals? Why have I considered myself a spineless puppet all my life? And why doesn’t it work for weight loss?
Is this maybe because I’ve decided so myself, and it’s just a negative belief I must change? Are there any of you here who know how to change negative beliefs?

So here’s what I’m getting at. I no longer believe you when you say you can’t achieve goals. I don’t believe you’ve never achieved anything—it’s a complete BS. Did you plan to get up and go to work? Congratulations, you’ve already achieved a goal. Did you plan to have coffee in the morning, and now you’ve been drinking coffee every morning for 10 years? That’s right: this once seemingly unattainable goal has become part of your routine. You just need to look around and find small and big goals you’ve actually achieved. Because there’s no person without daily goals. Picture this as an example: you planned to cook spaghetti for dinner. Did you do it? Great! Congratulations: you know how to achieve goals. Because it sounds simple: “cook spaghetti,” but in reality, you’ve completed a whole set of actions: bought spaghetti, bought a pot, and so on—you draw yourself that spaghetti scheme.

There’s no person without willpower. There are people who, at some point, have decided that they don’t have the strength to achieve a certain goal. And here’s the nonsense I wrote you about. After all, we all consist of micro-goals that become routine; we just don’t notice we’ve done a great job. Although, in fact, we’ve spent lots of resources on achieving hundreds of goals during just one day, not to mention life!

So please, never again believe anyone who says you can’t achieve goals. Not even yourself. Because you can!
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